


Safe Space

by foreverinprinxietyhell



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort Food, Comfort Reading, Drinking Tea, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Television Watching, Trauma, Triggers, Watching Someone Sleep, doctor who - Freeform, grounding exercises, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-08
Updated: 2018-02-08
Packaged: 2019-03-15 06:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13607409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreverinprinxietyhell/pseuds/foreverinprinxietyhell





	Safe Space

Emotions were usually cast aside to provide exposition for a virtual audience and for the sake of being able to clearly come to conclusions whenever the circumstance called. Aside from a few outbursts he appeared to not have any feelings even though they were merely bottled inside; rarely did those pesky problems get in the way, yet this was one instance where that could not be avoided for long.

Physically unable to speak when Thomas needed help unnerved him to no end, for like the others he strove to protect the young adult during any dilemma even if the solutions weren’t so easy to arrive at in the long run. Voice muffled behind his own palm as hot breath accumulated between the barrier had caused a sense of panic that not even Virgil had made any of the others feel in the early days, periwinkle irises widening upon the realization of a real villain being in their midst. It made his skin crawl at the thought of how easily it had been for the vile creature to wear and shed the persona dearly admired for an innocent personality, hot tears burning behind thick lashes at such a foolish oversight.

“Lo, is everything alright?” a calming voice asked, breaking through the distracting mental images that would not stop, “You look pretty shaken after seeing that snake-like son of a gun.” 

“Can you blame me? He… He fooled us all, but I should have been able to deduce that you weren’t acting normally.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, kiddo.”

“I could’ve done better, but I just followed along…” he continued on in a jumble of words that trailed off as his face burned with embarrassment despite not being judged for the reaction, “I obviously did some miscalculating.”

“Give yourself some credit. Here, this should help you feel a little better!”

Perplexed by the proposed solution the logical side watched as a brown napkin wrapped in on itself was pulled from one of numerous pockets to reveal a few hidden sugar cookies offered over as a sort of peace offering. Hesitantly, he reached out and slid one from the thin layer of protection as if afraid that the treat would be pulled back in reconsideration though nothing of the sort happened as he took a tentative bite, “You’re right, it’s assisting in elevating my mood.”

“You still seem sad… Is there anything else I can do to help?”

“Pat, honey, you shouldn’t worry.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. I know that I’m not responsible for what Deceit did, but I wanna make it up to you!”

Cringing at the name of the recently introduced Side in a kneejerk reaction, Logan flinched away from the comforting hand that reached out to touch a slightly bent forward shoulder without meaning to. Irritably he gave a sigh as a hand lifted thickly rimmed glasses to rub a thumb and forefinger over closed eyelids, not daring to look directly into the other’s face afterward, “My apologies, but I don’t think this is a simple situation to overcome.” 

“No need to be sorry, you didn’t do anything wrong. Why don’t we go do some of your favorite things together?”

“You’d do that?” 

“Well, of course I would! Whatdya wanna do first?”

“…I have no idea.”

“Ooh, I do, follow me!”

Doing as told Logan let the personification of morality guide the way into a brightly lit living room even though an angsty younger member of their group laid curled in the crook of a couch arm buried deeply in his patchwork purple hoodie as he appeared fixated by a horror film. Confused as to Patton’s approach to making him feel better, he stood awkwardly near the sofa until being pulled down between the two as the channel was abruptly changed to the opening of an episode of Doctor Who.

“Hey, I was watching that!” Virgil exclaimed in slight annoyance that softened upon noticing his best friend, “Could’ve warned a guy first.”

“Sorry kiddo, but we need the television. I’ll make it up to you and watch another scary movie later, okay?”

“You’d do that for me?”

“Without a doubt, I know you’ll keep me safe should I get scared.”

Content with the compromise the anxious one faded to the background so as not to disturb the two while staying in the claimed spot, drawing his legs up long enough for them to get comfortable before laying them across both laps. With the weight of close companions on either side of him, the logical one started to relax as attention was averted to the adventures of the Tenth Doctor and Donna Noble, a small smile replacing an earlier expression of worry as the nerdy side he loved to show shone through. 

Managing to get through a string of episodes in a marathon of the program all seemed to fade away into obscurity when a familiar face came on screen; from a factual standpoint the long term viewer knew it was a fictional antagonist, but for a moment the Master seemed to take on a reptilian look as he glared toward the screen. Uneven breathing caught in his throat, Logan flinched so violently that his glasses hung haphazardly across his face while colliding into the chest of a former foe. 

“Lo, it’s not real,” Anxiety reasoned, lifting up into a sitting position as Patton hurried off to get a drink for the panicking person. Holding both hands gently in his own, he waited while shuddering shakes stopped quaking through the thin frame, “Can you do something for me?”

“W-What is it?”

“Name five things you see in the room.”

“The T.V., a remote, couch cushions… Headphones around your neck, Patton’s cat hoodie.”

“Great start. Four things you can feel.”

“Your palms, a blanket behind me, air conditioning, and the floor.”

“Three things you can hear?”

“Your voice, slight static in the air… The microwave going off.” 

“Still goin’ strong,” Virgil remarked encouragingly as his grip loosened when the third person returned with a steaming cup of chamomile tea handed over in a delicate manner, “Two things you like the smell of?”

“Newly bought books and Crofter’s jam.” 

“One good thing about yourself.” 

Pausing for a moment to contemplate over what would be an acceptable answer as small sips of the hot beverage were taken, Logan kept drawing a blank. It was unlike him to not recall valuable information, so did that mean he did not value himself as much as others did? Hesitating for what seemed like an hour he could not conjure a single trait that was particularly positive in the moment; Funny? No, he had to constantly explain himself after telling a joke. Kind-hearted? Not entirely, he was rather blunt while being objective. Smart? That was one quality he did not feel able to rely upon currently. Out of all the pieces put together to make this man who he was, there was only one constant that saved him from disappearing entirely was without a doubt the people right here doing everything to answer a loud cry for help, “That I’m just as reliable as you two. I just wish I could do more…”

“You’re doing all that you can, hon,” Patton reassured in a gentle tone as small circles were rubbed into a shoulder blade, “Perhaps this wasn’t the best choice to take your mind off of things.”

“I mean, I could have done more in the moment. I should’ve listened to Verge’s suspicions, if I had then this could’ve been avoided…A”

“Shh, now don’t go beating yourself up. You had no idea _he_ was around.” 

“This is about…?” the youngest member asked without mentioning the name knowing that it would cause more harm than good especially while he still held a half-full mug between shaking fingers, “Are you kidding? You did us all proud tellin’ him off about how knowledge is important.” 

“And that helped bring me back! You did a fine job when faced with that bully.” 

“You really think so?”

“I know so and I’m so proud,” Patton remarked in a usually chipper attitude despite how shaken they all still were from the earlier encounter, “How about we call it a day and spend the rest of our afternoon in your room?” 

“What if something else goes wrong?”

“Then we’ll face it together just like everything else.”

Tearing up at such a declaration of devotion despite their differences in the past, he simply nodded silently in agreement as they bade farewell to the anxious side after showing signs of gratitude. Soul heavy with the hauntings of embarrassment at showing a part of him that must never be allowed out in the open, shame faded away into a shudder of sudden joy at returning to clean, white walls decorated with rows of bookshelves filled in alphabetic order, passing by to sit on a neatly made bed where a telescope sat at the end facing an ajar window. Love for the things enjoyed most replaced the icky black ink of hatred that had clung on for far too long, a sigh of relief let out as if a heavy burden had been lifted, “I already feel better.” 

“That’s the spirit! Now how about you get into some comfier clothes and I’ll read you a story?” 

“In front of you?” he questioned, cheeks turning a light shade of pink at the idea, “Could you… Turn around?”

“If it makes you feel at ease, sure.”

Moments later after pulling on navy blue bottoms covered in constellations and a light long-sleeved shirt, he permitted the other to look once more when he sank underneath a similar pattern as his pants. Handing over his eyewear to an outstretched palm the logical person curled into a comfortable position as Patton sat in a leather armchair a few feet away with a book from his Sherlock Holmes collection, correcting him gently when a word could not be pronounced correctly the first time until the fight to keep awake could not be fought off much longer. 

“Sleep well, Lo, you deserve it after such a long day,” the father figure murmured as the hardback novel was tucked back into place among its siblings, pressing a peck in the center of his forehead, “I love you, kiddo.”


End file.
